I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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