I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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