Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
