Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
