Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
