its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
