Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You are a genius and a whore.
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