what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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