What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
