my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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