I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
