Screwed.edu
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
