if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
