I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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