if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I enjoy the company of your penis
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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