Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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