Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
