I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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