Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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