just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
