If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
