i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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