This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
