Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
