i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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