i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
