Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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