she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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