At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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