at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
