Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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