covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
