Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
