After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
