Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
