everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Houston, we have a blender
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
