My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
