my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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