Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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