It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She even gives head with a lisp.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
