So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
