He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
