i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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