So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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