Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Everything about him screamed your future.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
