I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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