question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
