Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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