ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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