Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
